The "One Tissue" Idea

Greetings Readers

The one tissue rule?! Or Three tissues if you need to use for more than one tissue? What the fuck is that kind of thinking?! This idea was communicated to everyone that we should do our part to help Global Warming or something about Nature. Sorry readers, yesterday was the first day that I heard this news. Gosh darn. If this were to come true we would be in trouble - for there are people that do not wash their hands after using the restroom/bathroom.

And believe me readers there are a lot of those people who do not wash their hands after using the restroom. And what is even worse there are the people that do wash their hands, but still grab the handle/knob of the restroom without using a paper towel or tissue paper. That basically neglects the hand washing that you just did. Yuck! Sorry readers, but I am a true believer in using paper towels on getting out of the restroom. If none is available I will use my foot somehow or wait for someone to come into the restroom. Paranoid? There are some germs and not to mention "other" germs that I do not want even to think about. It is like Money - Money is literally dirty. Though that is getting off the "one issue" idea.

Getting back to the "one tissue" statement. You would never guess who said this little "helpful" advice to the world. Come on. Sheryl Crow. Yes readers, she is the woman that graces my blog of this day. Of all people, I believe in what she may be trying to state, but that is way over the top. She has everything going for her and people were behind her since she announce her cancer last year to the world. However, with this news she has lost a lot of people on this "one tissue" idea. Let me go to her website (www.sherylcrow.com) and see if I can find this statement...

I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

Now, I am bias since I watched MSNBC, FOX News & CNN last night and so I saw all the comments afterwards. I agree with all what was said by the comments that were made against her "one tissue" idea. Sheryl needs to look at herself and see all the damage to the environment she is doing with her travelling trucks (vehicles), concert things. Readers, I am not in opposition to Sheryl Crow nor am I for her.

I am not sure if she was directing this to women specifically. Or perhaps this idea was not related to "taking a dump" But there is no way that I am going to ever and try to use "one tissue". Unless I am sitting on "the throne" and need to dab myself dry. Shit. Too funny!

Oops! Unless there is a tissue or two left on the almost empty toilet roll and I have no more in the house. I would most likely try and use that one tissue rule. More than likely, I am jumping into the shower and get myself "clean" that way. Sure readers, go ahead and laugh, but you better think about this sort of example that I just came up with. Yes, shit washes off your hands, but whatcha gonna do - splash water on your ass from the sink? Walk from "the throne" to the sink with your pants/shorts around your ankles? Of course if you are Paris or Britney then not a problem. Sorry readers I could not resist.

Okay readers enough of that subject. Shit. Literally something that I did not want to think about while writing this blog, but the subject matter and who said this was just too much for me to ignore. I wish Sheryl - "good luck" on the "one tissue" idea. Even though an updated statement by her says...

And by the way guys, the toilet paper thing...it was a JOKE!!

The Damage was done - Sheryl. I am behind you, but now instead of seeing a gorgeous woman - I can only see the "one tissue" idea when I look at her. This "one tissue" idea overshadows her time with Lance, her announcement with Cancer, her time with Kid Rock, and her time "down on the Santa Monica Freeway" (Or however that popular song goes)

Yesterday was Denver's first 80 degree day and today was the second 80 degree day for the new year.

I almost forgot I chose the "Beauty Queens" to get eliminated and my co-worker chose the "Gay Guys" to get eliminated. On another bet, I chose the NY Rangers to win a game, but lost on Friday. Damn, now I am down a water.

until the next time readers

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete