Happy Birthday to Me

Greetings People

Happy Birthday to me.

Let me get right to the point of today's topic

“Something” has once again inflamed a passion in me to compose a blog about “something” I have addressed in the days of old. Nevertheless, I have to broach this subject every two or three years, basically whenever I get a new circle of friends. Or when someone discovers the other side of me.

Let us commence with an example that has inspired me to get my creative juices to ignite for 2007.
I am not sure how to initiate this blog, but let me embark on how all this transpired down in my hood of Englewood, Colorado.

As I stated in yesterday’s blog I at long last got around to utilizing the gift card that I acquired from RTD.

Well, I began the 10th day of January earlier than usual. Perhaps I was hoping to get a call from my mom, since I do not know when their day starts these past few weeks. We have had five newborn calfes in the past four weeks and my parents have been busy trying to keep those newborns alive – the cold, the snow, the ice chopping, feeding, etc. I have digressed so let me return to the story at hand.

I even left early for work with a little spring in my step. The morning temperature was cool, but not cold. A slight wind was blowing in from the North with the winter sun shining ever so brightly, but providing no warmth in the bitter beginning of the winter season that started on December 21.

This is where the story truly commences - I go into Starbucks with my own Starbucks “old school” coffee thermos in one hand and gift card in the other hand. There was no line for ordering, which is an amazing thing since that is very unusual for that Starbucks location. I walked up to the register and speak the line of dialogue I always say when ordering the only order I get at any Starbucks store.

“A large Mocha Frap with whipped cream in my own container and that’s it.”

I spoke clear and slow, since I have encountered numerous incidents as the one I am going to recount to you faithful readers, here and now. So, while I was saying the above rehearsed sentence I reached out to the cash register woman operator (the young 20’s college student working at Starbucks so I have spending money) presenting my gift card, from RTD, as expenditure for the Mocha Frap I have been thinking about ever since obtaining the gift card.

“Would you like a scone or muffin?”

What the fuck I thought to myself. I know what I just previously said and I looked at her and reiterated what I said – word for word not fifteen seconds ago. Readers, I will recite myself in this sort of circumstance so the person who is serving/helping me does not have to inquire for a third time. If she/he then has to ask the exact question once more I will give that person the look of “I am not going to repeat myself so you better consider about getting off that pedestal that makes you one step closer to god than me because I have all the time in the world since you decided to challenge my initial request.” I was not going to repeat myself for a third time nor will I start a new line of discussion.

Readers, this is like a double-sided sword and there is only one side or the other side. There is no middle. One may say that this is a conundrum. However, for me this is a situation normal for me and I am willing to challenge my last word of conversation. Period.

As I touched upon before, even before getting to the door of Starbucks, I departed out my front door with a spring in my step. I even got up earlier than usual to have ample time to go to Starbucks this morning, so there was no “attitude” to begin with. In layman terms, nothing has yet to piss me off on this fogless morning. I had woken up with a layout of my morning’s agenda, feeling like a new man and no chip on my shoulder.

Now, back to the story… there was an awkward moment of silence for her. However, for me the taciturnity was nothing unknown and nor was I going to utter one more word of dialogue. You could parallel my stance to Rosa Parks saying those infamous words “I’m not moving.” Or as a “brutha” would say “Did I stutter fool?! I’m not moving. And if you choose to continue you will be taught what I learned from the school of hard knocks. For real.”

After that short moment of silence she starts to ring my order up and after a second or two she appeared, to me, that she was done ringing me up. What I noticed while she was ringing me up on the register she did not ring up my discount. Word. So, I say to her “Is that the total? I did not see my discount for bringing in my own thermos.”

She immediately knew I “got her” (busted her), but she indicated that she was not done and then depressed a few more buttons on the register and my new adjusted total came up, with the discount. Oh yeah, no smile came to my face, but oh how that lifted my getting “pissed off” mood. I mentally chalked this up as another win in my “Customer is always right” column and took my gift card back and dropped no money in the tip jar. I know the discount is only a dime, but she tried to fuck me out of a dime, when in fact she fucked herself and the barrister out of that dime, plus more when she had asked that million dollar question With me walking out my front door feeling like Jaci spent the night, I might have left a dollar tip on the Mocha Frap order. We will never know though nor will I give a second thought about what could have been.

Yes, that is what I wrote. I left no tip. She fucked that up when she asked if I wanted a scone when I had clearly stated…

“A large Mocha Frap with whipped cream in my own container and that’s it.”

And she had the audacity to try and get me to say something more or answer her only question she asked.

And that, my friends, was the morning episode of my mother’s birthday in this brand new year of 2007. Now, when my mom says did I remember her birthday this year I can say “Hell yeah that was the day I went into Starbucks with my gift card from RTD to have my Mocha Frap with whipped cream.” Hah hah.

With my morning incident presented to you I am pretty sure I have gotten your attention. Whether for the good or bad I could care less. I am responsible for my actions, but more consequentiality, I am not the submissive person in this affair. I was the dominant person. I am not succumbing to “the man”, nor to a life partner, the wife, the children, the girlfriend or age. I have not become jaded to the world nor been oppressed by anyone else. I have not forgotten where I came from and where I stand with my morals and myself. Meaning, I will take no shit when I do not have to.

I am an equal opportunity person to everyone I meet, but there is always something that will either make me respect you or not give you the benefit of me, yet being only as cordial as I could be. There are a lot of things I wrote down that you readers would disagree with, but before you call the kettle black, meaning me. You better take a look at your own life before judging me by the stories I communicate to you readers.

Yes, I understand the cashier may be required to say “anything else?” or offer something else or it’s free according to their policy. Fine. But, I repeat, when I include in my conversation words such as “that’s it” or “I only want this” or “and that will be all” that means that. Do not ask me for anything else. Depending on the day I may be having I might be the sarcastic son of a bitch I am when I am on the bike and say something like “Did I ask you for your phone number? Well then, I guess you know the answer to both questions that have been asked in the past 15 seconds by both of us.” This customer is right and I dare you to try your luck with me, because I promise to give you my undivided attention of me getting up in yo face. Or if am pissed off/foul mood I will become like a bitch and give the old silent treatment. Silence is such a powerful tool for me and I will often implore this method.

You may be thinking to yourself “What a son of a bitch. Not leaving a tip.” Again I say, you better get off your high horse or you better get off that step that makes you one step closer to god, because I ask you readers how many of you tip a fast food joint worker? I am proud to say I do, but only the regular fast food joint I go to for a gallon of Sweet Tea – Chick-fil-A. In addition to tipping, I also managed to get the two I deal with a 10.00 gift certificate to Starbucks. I did this act out of the respect I get when I go in there for my gallon of Sweet Tea. These two employees immediately start my order and I do not have to say one word on what I want. That is service my friend and there is no need for tipping them since society deemed them not people to tip, only waiter/waitress, bartenders, etc. The day any of you readers tip a fast food worker then you will have earned my respect and my attention to any issues/concerns you may have about me. Otherwise you better recognize.

Note, I have never stiffed a waiter/waitress out of tip money. I will give 15 % percent no matter how bad of a service the waiter/waitress may have provided. I was a waiter back in the day and I know from experience firsthand on waiting and tipping. There are a lot of people who tip less than 15 %. The government requires that we account for 15% of income made. Back in the day, I was earning $ 2.01 an hour plus tips. I am not sure how much that has changed, but that is pretty rough if you can not wait tables. Me? I made 18 to 20 percent when I worked about 95 percent of the time. More and less other times.

The cashier girl, well young woman, at Starbucks provided a service by taking my order and ringing me up. However, she did not make my Mocha Frap. She only gave me about a minute of her services. After that my order was in the hands of the barrister for the rest of my visit. Should I have still left a tip in the jar? Fuck no. Do you let a puppy piss all over the house without acknowledge of how wrong that was. Fuck no! You exert dominance, as the dog whisperer Romero would voice. So, the next time they see my thermos, my face, and remember not to ask a fucking question when I state “that’s it” they have learned not to question this customer. You may think I am a face among thousands that visits that certain Starbucks, but alas I have a certain something that one can not help to forget. Character. Okay, okay, now I am full of it, but I do have that certain impression on most people.

You may be saying to yourself “ I should have apologized to her” Fuck that. I do not apologize for her not listening to me in the first place. She did not offer any apologies to me for asking a question she knew she asked nor saying “oops sorry, I was not listening to you”

Readers I will pause for now since this has already gotten pretty lengthy

until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete