Saturday, December 06, 2008

Qdoba girl - 20 Days Later

Greetings Readers

I had a destiny with the Qdoba girl. After all it has been over two weeks since I had last seen her. Not to mention that I was a bit “drunk” when I last saw her. And I was acting funny, talking slowly and trying to speak clearly, and using my hands to also talk when I last saw her. Wow – that was a fucked up moment with the Qdoba girl. Fuck me is what I say non-chalantly.

Readers, you have to imagine that I was a bit worried, to say the least. I remembered my last encounter with my Qdoba girl and, in my view, it did not go well and I am sure that she and everyone knew that I was a “bit tipsy”

All day I was thinking about not going or going to Qdoba’s. After all - the last time I saw her was two weeks ago and I really have not thought about Qdoba girl, in a manner of speaking.

I was okay with not knowing how she might or does not think about me since my last visit seeing her. After all I was sort of fucked up at that last meeting and I knew, I knew, that I should gone straight home. However, to me that Qdoba girl is something special to me. And I had a destiny to see her on “our” Friday. So, the alcohol won and I walked into Qdoba’s to see my Qdoba girl.

Getting back to the present – I decided that I was taking Light rail and the bus home, with a visit to Qdoba’s. Or so I planned.

Yet, getting back to my Qdoba girl. I wanted to see her since coming back from vacation for I am not sure how she might see me now (or ever since that last “incident”). Then again, I did not want to know how she felt about me. After all, I think I only thought about her twice while on vacation when I saw a falling star and like a child wished upon it.

Being back from vacation I was okay. Mentally, I was almost constantly thinking about Qdoba girl before my Thanksgiving vacation. On what transpired the last time I went to Qdoba’s. How I have acted in front of her. How I have flirted, but could not back it up. How I was thinking, to me, that she is all that and a bag of chip. What I was going to do the next Friday I go Qdoba’s. Etc.

You see Readers I was thinking all this and more. I was also thinking that she is too beautiful to speak to (or perhaps that she is out of my league), so this visit I imagined that I was talking to a friend or a sister if I had a sister. And you know what Readers? It worked. I was cool. I was calm. More importantly I was myself, well the nice side of myself.

I was on foot, which meant I was dressed nice and planned to look sharp since my last meetings did not go well. Meaning, I did not have my biking gear on – jacket, gloves, bandanna, cycling pants, Oakleys, etc. I had my long black overcoat, white scarf, my I.O.U. sweater, jeans and the new sneakers I had bought for the 24 hours of Boulder. I was pretty sharp. I think I left off the earring so I was very business like.

Although, I was hot wearing the overcoat, but that was only because I thought it was going to be cold as it was yesterday. And yesterday I was cold biking home.

I was a bit scairt (slang), but I “manned up” and walked into Qdoba’s.

I made eye contact with her when I saw her behind the counter upon entering Qdoba’s. I broke eye contact first and then saw that the place was about 1/3 full and all were eating – happily it looked like to me. Qdoba girl was finishing up with a customer and I was the only person next. Good. Matter of fact, as my old ex-co-worker would say it was “just so awesome.”

“Hi how are you?” she asked me with a smile and a sparkle (perhaps a gleam) in her eyes.

Flashback – The entire day I was planning my line that I was going to use on Qdoba girl. “Hey if you get a moment come on over to my table if you get a minute so we can catch up” or “Come by my table when you a moment and we can catch up with each other” and so forth. Matter of fact, I took the bus, as opposed to light rail so I could practice out loud my line I was going to say to my Qdoba Girl. I was talking out loud on the bus, but I was the only one on the bus. Crazy. But I figured if I cannot say out loud then there is a real good possibility that I was going to “flub” my line. I was not embarrassed about talking out loud. After all, I had to nail my line I was going to use.

Then, “Christmas card” popped into my head. This is the time of the year that you could give a card that would not seem out of place or awkward. After all, Hallmark thrives on this part of year, besides Valentine’s Day, of selling cards.

Hmmm. A Christmas card to my Qdoba girl.

Present – “I would like a Steak burrito – black”. Readers, ordering was nothing like my last visit when I was ordering my burrito in an alcohol state. Yeah, I was a bit fucked up, but we are all human and do things we normally do not do when lusting or in love with someone.

“How was your holiday?” I asked.

“Good.” She looks at me in her look I just adore “How was yours?”

“Good, I went to visit my parents in New Mexico for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, I went to my Mother’s place with my sister for Thanksgiving.”

“Really? Did you cook?”

“Me?” she responds questioningly, but with a smile ”No, I do not know how to cook.”

Readers, when she said this last sentence my brain was working on an answer or a response to that statement. I could remark on that statement. I could ask a question about that. I could make “light” of that statement. Perhaps three seconds later I came to a decision – no joking, smart-ass or sarcastic response to that question. After all I have to appear “good” in her eyes and not the person I truly am when you know me.

“Really?” I respond

“I know. I have worked at Qdoba’s for the past seven years and I do not know how to cook”

I am resisting any come on line. I am resisting all lines I could say about how I could cook a meal for you. Note – Once more all her co-workers (employees) seemed to have found other things to do while her and me are talking at the counter. No one was waiting to be served. It was just she and I.

“Interesting” I say with a smile and as if I was commenting on something not that interesting. Go figure.

“What would you like in your burrito?” she then asks

Readers, just like Forrest Gump would say, “Me and Jenny were just like Peas and Carrots” That was Qdoba girl and me – we were like peas and carrots again. I was myself. I was seeing her as just a friend and not like the girl I want. I was holding the winning card and I knew it. Oh yeah.

We talked a bit more. She asked me if I was eating here. I responded perhaps not.

“I need to get going before it gets cold”

“Oh, I have not been out since I got to work today.”

And so goes this conversation, which I will not bother reciting since it is really not that pivotal.

She is ringing my final total and all the while I managed to pull out my post-it note out of my wallet and had it post it to the top of my wallet.

Christmas card.

That flashed in my head. The conversation had been going well and I was a trying to figure out what to do in the seconds I thought I had available.

“I can’t remember. You want something to drink?” she asked me.

“No thank you. Not this time since I am going to take it to go. Otherwise, if I am staying I do normally have a drink.

She rings me up. I give her money, she gives me back my change (paper money) folded in between my receipt and I hear the change dispense in the change machine.

We look at each knowing that is the end of our conversation. Is she waiting for me to ask something? Is she waiting for me to make my move? Is she waiting for another question about what we just talked about? I do not know, but I kept my hand over the post it note just in case so she would not see it.

The time was right as I was ready, but a Christmas card was blinking in my head.

“Alright I guess I will be seeing you.”

“Yes, you will” or something to that effect she responds with a smile.

I turn and leave, without taking my change from the change dispenser. Readers – Fuck no I was going to let that go. No fucking way I was going to say that I left my change in the change dispenser. Change was less than a dollar and my conversation with the Qdoba girl was a perfect ending to the day, to the week and the past twenty days. Fuck the change. Let her remember our conversation and not me “complaining” about my change I left in the change dispenser.

Overall, I am happy. My heart was beating fast, since I was expecting the “cold” a response from her. For example – I was expecting to hear “Hi, what can I get you?” with a cold demeanor. Readers you know what I mean – the look and talk that really implies “I’m not interested.”

But I got the…

“Hi how are you?” she asked me with a smile and a sparkle (perhaps a gleam) in her eyes.

One word - Ecstatic

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

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