It's gonna get colder baby!

Greetings Readers

Fuck me. You know Readers? From time to time I have shown (written) that I am a "penny pincher" from time to time.

Anyway, it got colder today.

So, there I was getting off work later than I should of and knew that I was going to take Light Rail and then try to time the RTD bus on the bus route that I need to catch on the way home.

I got changed, bundled up pretty good and my fare ($2.25) ready before heading out in the sub-zero temperature outside. I was riding on the streets due to the sidewalks not being shovel out from the snow. Anyway, it was about 6:00 P.M. so traffic was light.

I came to the street that I was to turn on when I thought to myself... what if I have to wait for the next Light Train to come? I ain't going to wait in this mother fucking cold. No way. And then have to pay 2.25 just for a short Light Rail ride and then perhaps another wait until a RTD bus shows up for my bus route? No way. I am keeping my money. I would rather suffer now and keep the money than have to wait for the Light Rail, get warm, get cold waiting for the bus, and then finally get warm on a short bus ride home.

Six miles. Yet, miles in this fucking cold. Well, I kept on riding and was doing good. Though until about mile three, I estimate when I started to feel the cold in my fingers, feet, and the outside of my thighs.

And that is where this is the picture was taken about. About three miles from work and about three miles from home. I thought what the fuck. I stopped riding and decided to take a picture. Might as well mark the moment on this frigid evening. Also, it would stop the frigid wind I was feeling on my body and face from bike riding with Lily.

In the end I was very cold, but ok in a manner of speaking - as long I was not misery cold. I thought about taking a hot shower to warm up, but then thought otherwise. I turn on the t.v. switched to W.W.E. Raw, then turned on the stereo and turned off the t.v. I was going to crawl into bed and just listen to the t.v., W.W.E. Raw, in the dark.

Man oh man, certain parts of my body were very cold. It was cold in the sheets, but I could actually feel the frigid cold that my body experienced. Wow. I would say all in all it took about 30 minutes for me to actually feel warm and okay. The outside of my thighs got real cold. That is the part that usually does not get cold due to the pedaling and the blood flow being circulated in the thighs. Yet, tonight the skin on my thigh was icy cold to the touch.

Crazy.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

As my ex-co-worker would say "Awesome"

Greetings Readers

So, I was on my way home when I had to make a stop at the local Supermarket to pick up my lunch for the week – Sunflower.

I have found out that Sunflower does have the cheapest produce, in my opinion, and usually the freshest produce around my part of the town.

I knew where I was going and also was on a mission to get in and out as soon as possible.

A few minutes later I was walking to the check out line – the one that I usually go to.

That was when I saw her. A woman from my past. Actually, it is the one to whom I refer to “as my ex-co-worker would say "Awesome." The very one Readers.

I could not believe it – I think it has been about 5 years since I last saw her.

Nothing bad, nothing good, but honestly Readers I was not in the mood to say “Hey…”

So, I headed to another open check out line, which by the way was only the next one over from her.

I made sure not to make any eye contact over in next line. I kept my eyes focused on my cashier and see how things play out. Meaning, would she initiate a conversation. If she did, so be it. If she does not, then so be it.

I smiled and made small talk with my cashier and played it out like any other time, except not looking around while being checked out. I know. I know. Kind of tough since I do look around.

Lo and behold, I noticed her glancing over in my area, but do not know if she was really looking since I did want her to know I knew she was who she was.

Writing this post – you may wonder why I did not say hi. I could have. But didn’t. I do not know. Again – nothing bad and nothing good. Though I did have a thing for her when I started working with her when I first saw her about 6, 7 years ago.

Anyway, thought to blog about this since it was nice to see her again from a distance. Her curly long red hair, nice profile (and body). I did not see her face, except in profile so I can not remember how she looked before I parted ways (as well as her accident)

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Happy Birthday to Me

Greetings Readers

Alright - Happy Birthday to me.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Happy Birthday to my Mother

Greetings Readers

First thing First

Happy Birthday to Mom

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

The Toy Crane Game Machine

Greetings Readers

That toy crane game.

It is the devil.

I am strangely drawn to this coin operated game when I do come across this in my travels, mostly vacation travels. Though, not in my everyday travels since I could have a problem if I did have toy crane game to play everyday.

Then again, in the part of town that I live in near Denver, I can not even think of a coin operated toy Crane game being at. Definitely at no local supermarkets – and that includes any video games of any sorts.

Well Readers, it has come to a sort of tradition… fuck it… let me be honest. It is fucking tradition that I play a certain toy Crane game at the local supermarket chain store – Smith’s – in Rio Rancho, N.M. I have to admit that whoever does stock the prizes in the machine does a pretty good job of stocking items that someone would want. Yet, with the, in my ex-co-worker’s infamous line, “awesome” prizes – there are the fucked up prizes that are not even worth the 50 cents that cost to play the game.

The many years of playing those toy crane games I can tell which toy crane machines you may actually have a chance to pick up / win a prize. What I mean is that there are some toy crane machines that the “claws” are “loose” when picking up the prize. Also, I have come across a couple of machines that the “claws” are greased. That further pushes the odds against getting any prizes. Yes – Greased – You can see the gleam in the lights when looking at the “claws” from a certain angle catching the lights in the supermarket. Furthermore, I estimate that 25 percent of the machines that I do play and actually get the crane to get a prize when the crane does retract the “claws” the machine will jerk to a stop and when it does that jerk is enough to release the prize I did get from the “claws” and drop back into the machine’s pile of prizes.

Oh, how that fucking pisses me off. But, as Paulie Walnuts would say – “What are you going to do?”

Now, I am not going to drop more than two dollars in one meeting. After all, if I try and try and get close I usually know it ain’t going to happen.

And this depends on the prizes themselves. You Readers may think that the prizes are just there in the machine ready to be won. Oh no. About 90% of the time the good prizes are strategically placed in the machine so that you / someone will have to actually get the piece of shit prize before getting the, in the words of my ex-co-worker “awesome” prize. Meaning that if you see that one prize you want and even try the “claw” will get the prize and start to reel in. Yet, when the “claw” retracts the prize, the prize soon gets hung up and gets released from the “claw” Whoever stocked the toy crane machine has purposely placed the prizes in the machine so that you can not get the “good” prize without getting the piece of shit prizes surrounding the “good” prize since the bad prizes have been carefully wedge around the “good” prize.

So, even when I see a prize I desire, I must go for the piece of prize since I am there to play – period.

I know it is a waste of money, but I can not resist. To me it is like a gorgeous blonde I meet and I can not resist not saying hi.

I would say that the game is game of skill, but it is a game of skill and luck – but more of luck than skill depending on some the factors I did mention above. The skill is looking at the crane and the possible drop point and contact of said prize you want. Of course, if the “claws” rotate during the descent of the “claws” then skill goes out the door and luck comes into play. Although, with my background of toy crane playing I have taken in that factor so skill comes back into play since I have taken in the account that most likely the “claws” will rotate during descent.

Anyway, coming to this blog post and why I decided to write about this. This time around on vacation I was able to win two prizes at the same machine on two different occasions on my vacation. The first time I wanted the Simpson’s Bart/Krusty the clown prize, but fucking knew that prize was unobtainable without spending a lot of money to get. So, I opted for a prize I knew I could get and lo and behold – I did. Basically, A rabbit in a purple hat – a soft top pop toy. I wanted to play the machine and I wanted to win so I chose the only prize I knew I had a chance to win.

Then, on New Year’s Eve, after dropping my brother off at Albuquerque, me and my Dad stopped off at Smith’s and saw that someone won the prize I wanted before, but I saw another Simpson’s plush toy. Again, I saw that was not going to be possible to get without spending money. Then, I saw a prize that was not too bad and obviously a prize I could get. 50 cents later and first try – I got the prize – a walrus – his/her name on the tag is “Blithe”.

And that Readers is another part of my life. No addiction, but I can not resist playing when I see that there are prizes that I want.

What? The Holy Grail? Currently, I have seen a few machines with South park plush toys. And I so fucking want. You know me – I am a die-hard South park fan and I want any South park collectible. So far, I have not gotten any. I would say I have gotten close, but in reality no. What it has always comes down to is spending the money in order to get that South park toy.

I do not play every toy crane machine. Only the ones I see with prizes I would want to have. Otherwise, if no toys look desirable I am not going to play.

What made this obsession funny this vacation was that I pulled out a roll of quarters and told my Mom that I was going to play until I won something.

LOL – I said this, but did not mean it. Consciously, subconsciously, I wanted my Mom to middle name call me.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

The Apology Letter (and last) to D

Greetings Readers

As I mentioned just recently in order to move forward you have to put the past behind you.

I have and thought to myself I might as well complete this statement by writing a blog post that will mean nothing to any of you faithful Readers, but only to that one person. I do not have a clue if she does read my blog, but there may be a chance that she does. Does that matter? I guess you faithful Readers may never know that answer to that question.

Hi D

This is not the first time that I was wrong and this will not be the last time that I will be wrong. I also do not like to give an apology for something that I did not do wrong initially.

I acted the way the way I did since the initial act was instigated by you. I felt that if you treated me the way that you did I could do almost the same thing, but in a different manner to you. It does take two to Tango and I know I have things I did to you that you could mention.

I gave you the silent treatment. Yes, silence is a powerful thing to do someone close. All I wanted was for you to ask me why I was giving you the silence treatment. I would have given you the reason why – no bullshit.

Like the reason I was mad at you for not keeping a couple of lunch meetings early in our friendship. Yes, something small and I understand that we all have emergencies and what not, but that was/is something I do not tolerate if the same thing happens over and over. Call it a pet peeve or not, but I do not like to be cancelled and cancelled upon over and over again.

I was mad for a time and then I came to you and explained why I was mad at you. If the other person was wrong I wait for them to come to me, but in the case with you I came to you and explained why I was the way I was. We mended the relationship, but with my character I can not forget that this event ever happened.

Well, this past year, you approached me in a manner that I was taken aback by surprise. I understand you got the degree and have that over me as education and status placement, but my placement in life is what I have chosen. Though, the one thing that I am not is an AA or an EA. I do not fetch coffee, I do not keep up calendars, and other things EA’s or AA’s are known to do for the person(s) they are hired to assist. You had a pissed off look and addressed me in a pissed off manner and I did not especially care for that.

Then, as the weeks past by and you noticed something different you used a mutual friend to try and talk to me through our mutual friend. That further drove the nail in the wrong direction. If there is an issue – talk to me directly, pull me aside, just do not involve any of our mutual friends into our differences. I am honest with you and can take most things that are said or thrown at me.

Sure, I would have apologized for my above actions in a heartbeat, but you never came to me at all. I could have went first to you, but after the first incident in our relationship I could not make the first move again. No matter what, in my opinion.

I enjoyed knowing you. As you know I made the effort to get to know you. And so as I learned of your martial status I did not let that deter me. And at that time I knew that I could not pursue you as a romantic interest – even though you are the woman I do desire – the hair color, the body, the voice and the demeanor.

I did flirt from time to time, but I hope never flirted any more than I should of. I never suggested let’s go for a drink, I did not inquire about your personal life. Though when I saw that one tattoo – it was an immediate turn on. But again, I kept the friend relationship to a minimum, even by not talking to you every day, which I could have done, but elected not to.

So, that is what caused my friendship with you to be cut off so suddenly. Now, I do and did apologize and I did call your phone number for the first and only time since you gave to me a couple of years ago and I left you a voicemail. I could have hung up, but I did not. I kind of remember leaving a voice message, but I do not actually remember what I said on the voicemail. Sorry. I was nervous, but my message was unrehearsed and my thinking on what to actually say was the tough part.

I could have said so much, but not knowing how you felt about me, what had happened and what you did not know – again I did not want to say something that could be perceived as something it should not. And I will admit that I may be thinking something else, but that is neither here or there. And as Prince sang “…it’s such a shame our friendship had to end…”

I do wish the best for you and I do hope that you give me a call, or send me an email to say something / anything from – a fuck you or you accepting my apology and tell me I am still an ass for acting the way I did to you. If not, I also understand your reasoning why not. I truly do.

What also bothered me, though not from you was that other people suggested that perhaps I was the one that made you question yourself. Or I was the cause for your troubles with giving you a bottle of wine. You giving me a couple / few rides home. I hope that was not the case. Again, I never asked about you and your hubby’s personal current relationship. I do not know if perhaps there is a therapist that you may be seeing for whatever reason(s). I do not know about your life except those moments you did share with me, which in my mind were not on a personal / taboo basis at all. Anyway, once those “seeds” were planted I could not help think I may have had something to do with your personal life. I hope not, but somehow I feel I did, but only by people even saying I may have a part. Consciously, I know I did not, but perhaps subconsciously I did do something that I am not aware of. If I did, I am very, very sorry. I am past that part of my life where I did have extra-martial affairs, but as we age so does comes wisdom and more thinking to the consequences of the act of an affair. Granted, I do have a lot of gorgeous married women friends and I do tend to flirt from time to time, but I think I know when I have / am crossed the line of going to far with a married woman. With your physical condition the last time I saw you – you were thinner than ever. I was worried, but also brought flashbacks to a woman I loved who is no longer in my life. Yet, that is another story, which I talked very little about, but affected and changed my life from that point on in my life.

You referred to yourself as a princess, I disagree. You are more than that – a desirable Queen. Though again that is something I never voiced to you - or could. And I could never call you a princess since I had a friend who referred to herself as a princess and she was that (but a whole more, but not princess like.) One princess in my life is plenty and I could not make two princesses in my life. If I were to be blunt you would be my “cougar.” Oh baby.

The only way to go any further is in my fantasies, but that is something that I will not share. We all have fantasies and I am not going to share about who I may be having fantasies about. (Not going to talk about that with you my faithful Readers… well you could buy me a couple of drinks and perhaps I might just slip about that subject.)

By the way, I know it has been two years, and like an elephant I really never forget things. Do you remember when I made Lasagna and I gave you a small Tupperware dish with a piece of Lasagna? I never asked for the dish back nor did I ask what you thought about my cooking. I am not worried about the Tupperware not being returned to me – at all. After all, my faithful Readers know how I personally feel about Tupperware.

If you need a reason, one reason, to contact me and are reading this blog, then that there is a reason (or additional reason) why you could contact me. Tell me how you liked/disliked my cooking. We may laugh. We may have uncomfortable conversation. Or we may say sorry to each other and see what happens. I do not know.

But again – As I was sitting with my family after Christmas in the living room – “in order to move forward mama always said you had to put the past behind you.”

I did see you walk out of my life before you were gone – walking to your vehicle. Corny as that statement reads but that is the last time I saw you. Sounds like a cowboy song. Or could just be life.

Take care and I hope the best for you in your life.

Yours Truly

Daryl

Readers, that is that. Readers, it took Forrest Gump to make me realize that I had to do the same thing. I have made my peace with myself and now look forward to a new year and a new age bracket to compete in. Hah hah. By the way, it does sound like I lost a love, but it is not. Just someone I cared about more than most of my friends - nothing wrong with that.

“and that is all that I have to say about that.”

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

A Summary perhaps?

Greetings Readers

The many things that I do not like coming back from the Ranch is that I have to check all of my Internet accounts as well as emails that I was unable to access. This is due to the location of where our Ranch is as well as the isolation from the world where our Ranch is.

I was able to log onto my Facebook account for a few minutes and check one of the email accounts I have and boy oh boy I do not want to go through that mess. Though with one of my email accounts - that is my junk email account so most of those emails can be deleted right off the top.

The facebook account is just an everyday account that I mainly use for gaming for the two games that I play regularly – Farmville and Mafia Wars. I saw over a 100+ friend requests, which I did not even bother to even get started on answering / replying. There were two messages, but the one that I was hoping for was not there.

I checked the blog account – not anything new really, but the traffic has picked up since I have started to blog once more again on a regular basis. I do like to see that since I like to think I am sort of interesting to follow / read.

What I have written is just my personal stuff. I have yet to check my work stuff. I almost got the hankering to check, but thought I am going to find out in another day so another day can wait.

I have no qualms about this. Since I do not have access to the Internet that means I will not be able to be on the Internet. Sure, I do not like being incommunicado for such a long time, but I have learned to deal with this. I know that I saw a TV commercial that advertised you could have Internet access via satellite, but for me that is so far not needed in my life. I can not even imagine the cost, but really thinking about it how much am I going to utilize satellite Internet? Only the times that I am visiting the Ranch is when I can use this service. The parents probably could use the service also, but first they will need a computer / laptop with wireless connection.

That is the tip of the iceberg, I have the mail and phone messages to check. As well as stock the fridge and do laundry. I also have to get caught up on current events that have happened in Colorado, as well as elsewhere. Though, I did listen to the local radio station KTNN and got the hourly CNN updates at the top of the hour.

Alright Readers, time for me to continue catching up with my everyday life and I will let you get back to yours.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

First Post of 2011

Greetings Readers

In order to move forward you have to put the past behind you.

I know this, but this is sometimes very difficult for me to actually to do from time to time. Yet, if it is difficult for me why did Forrest Gump never give it a second thought about putting the past behind him?

I just do not know.

Anyway Readers, I have taken some time off from work and my regular life for about 2 weeks. I said, or say, I think I needed it, but to be honest with myself I really did need the time away from my everyday life. With that said I headed off to the Ranch and sent some time with the family.

Very enjoyable and it took a few days get out of my everyday routine. Granted, I was sleeping on a mattress, in the farthest room from the pellet stove, but I was okay with that. I did bring my laptop and new portable dvd player so I had something to keep me busy/entertained.

With all that said I was able not to think about the things that have happened to me in the past month and started to question myself. And question others. Not second guess myself or others, but to think too much about something that should not be thought about that much in the first place.

I slept, cooked, worked a bit here and there, chopped ice for the animals, rode the four wheeler to name a few things that I did on my vacation. I also watched / listened to a few movies as well as played some Diablo II on my laptop. I realize that is an old computer game, but I was looking for some game that I wanted to load that was not too heavy on the RAM or the hard drive space on the laptop. Also, I borrowed a sub woofer from my brother so I wanted to hear a game an all new way. And let me tell you Readers there is a big fucking difference in the sound. Wow.

See. I was able to put the past behind me once more, but there are just a couple things that I will remember though, but know that I am able not to think about day after day, week after week.

In the next couple of weeks I will perhaps touch on some of the things that I did on my vacation. Like I swear that I saw the splitting image of Uncle Junior at Furr’s Buffet in Albuquerque, NM.!The icy cold weather that kept us in for a few days since it was too too cold to work outside on the Ranch. The three dogs that were shot since they went onto our Ranch property and killed one of Ranch Animals, my “Christmas Present”, my winnings at the toy crane game at the local supermarket – Smith’s, another award (as well as thank you letters) from the 4-H club to my parents for their yearly contribution, the blind calf’s progress, and how I spent my New Year’s Eve (not exciting though).

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete