...I'd rather be a hammer than a nail...

Greetings Readers

As you know Readers I have a strong connection to music and I would have to say that I found another beloved song from before my time on Mother Earth

I finally got to see "Wild" and I was very impressed and emotionally attached in a sense.  I did not get to see the movie in the theater, but oh so wanted.  I wish I did.  Really.

In no way have I done what Cheryl did in life, but what I felt was probably what I felt when I did the 24 hours of Boulder.  She did the PCT and I did the 24 hours of Boulder.  I have written about this event twice, I think, and I want to say that when Cheryl reached the Bridge of the Gods is when I saw the sunrise of my final lap in the 24 hours of Boulder.  I knew that this was the last lap that I could complete within the time limit, but I could have gone another.  Anyway, in that moment when I saw the sunrise in the East coming over the Dam - it was something incredible-the colors, the feelings, reflecting on the past 21 hours, the pain, the relief, the end.  I guess when I saw "Wild" and put the music of El Condor Pasa (If I could) - that is the definitive music of that moment.  And forever will be now. 

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would

Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world it's saddest sound
Its saddest sound

I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would

I guess the part that really gets to me is... "A man gets tied up to the ground He gives the world it's saddest sound..."  I gave a lot myself during this event.  No doubt.  I do not wonder what Cheryl gave during her journey on the PCT, but I am sure that she surely did give it everything she could - she surely would.

I even still remember that one woman offering to walk with me toward the finish line - just a small loop, but nevertheless the offer was truly sad for me and I did get emotional when I heard her say that to me.  I was a hurting, beat, but not down for the count.  That last lap did me in, yet to this day I can still say that I did 57.12 miles in 21 hours.  Who else in the fuck can say that beside the elite few ultra runners on Mother Earth.  Running two fucking marathons in 21 hours.  I can also remember me in the early morning getting those "hand warmers" from that one guy at the half way point on the 24 hours of Boulder.  I swear I did not even think about even getting some of those, but when I put in my gloves - wow - I did tear up after that as well.

Anyway, "Wild" was a very interesting movie and yes I could relate in my own sort of way.  When you do something of what Cheryl did as well as I did - you think, you reflect, your mind is open.  Being on a journey and looking, perhaps watching, others around you on your journey.  Humans are kind believe it or not- even an asshole like me have a moment on humility.

Until now, I think I understand...

With utmost sincerity

Daryl Charley
The Veteran 24 Hours of Boulder Runner

P90X - 2014 - Day 9

Greetings Readers

I just done with Plyometrics.  And guess what?  I upped the attitude.  hah hah.  Well, I mentioned I was browsing some P90X blogs the other day and I happened to remember that a guy used ankle weights when doing the P90X on some of the routine.  Well, after work to day I went to Target and located some ankle weights.  8 pounds or 4 pounds weight for each ankle.  Dang.  I am not going to say that it was heavy, but when I strapped those ankles weights on I though to myself two weeks ago I was at 151.  And this morning I was at 141/142.  I had that much body fat (I am assuming on me?!)  Fuck me.  I can not believe that I was carrying that much weight that weigh that much on my ankles.  I guess one does not know when you actually strap the weight onto yourself.  I know I know yesterday I was doing 25 pound barbells easily, so to speak.  But doing Plyometric for the hour with 4 pound ankle weights on each ankle - DAMN!  Let me tell you I wanted to take the ankle weights off at the first water break.  I was testing myself.  And I sure did get a workout.  I was able to do the routines better and keep up better; however I still struggled on the Rock Star and One legged Hop (sorry I can not remember that routine's name at the moment)  I thought about taking off the ankle weights during those, but I think I pretty made up my mind to keep those weights on no matter what.  I had some issues with some switches do to the switch hop.

I knew I was able to do Plyometrics, but somehow I wanted to challenge myself and the thought of trying ankle weights just seemed right.  I almost bought the 2 pound weights, but thought what the fuck - I am going to bring it.  And I couldn't then I knew that I could do it next week.

I had whey powder this morning.  Then a co-worker brought Hatch Green Chili to work - so I had some of that, with Spanish rice and a small tortilla and a half.  I was okay with that.  Although I did not want to eat the tortilla due to the carbs.  However, since she brought some for me I did not want to decline.  For dinner I had 1 chicken thigh.  And a bite of the chicken skin.  I salted the skin a bit and took a normal size bite.  Oh it was heaven.  After that bite I looked at the skin more, then immediately threw it in the trash and then washed off the plate of any remaining skin crumbs.  I did not want to be tempted to take another bite.  That bite was delicious.  Fabulous.  After the workout I once more had the recovery drink with Creatine added.  And that is done after P90X routine.

Well, that's the summary of the day's meals and P90X routine.  I am kind of sore from yesterday and I think that was from doing more of the push-ups.  I know it has to be since I did alot more than I did my first time around.  I am worried about tomorrow though.  With the ankle weights I know I may have pushed it, but I am going to accept the soreness and pain that might be there tomorrow. 

I brought it tonight and I am happy that I did.  I sweated the same if not more than the last time.  The ankle weights took just a bit to get used to, but once I got into it then I really got used to them.

Again, if you guys/gals lose that much weight in certain amount of time go to a store and buy some ankle weights to the amount that you lost.  You will not believe how heavy that weight is on your ankles.  Even more so is when you think that you had that weight on you before getting those ankle weights.  Doing a routine with those ankle weights on you - you will think how in the fuck does 8 pounds (or whatever pounds you lost in a certain time frame) weight that much.  Sorry Readers, it is truly amazing for me to workout with that weight that I lost in the past two weeks - granted I lost about 10 pounds, but having 8 pounds on me, my ankles, I think how did I do this routine the first time around?  Truly amazing, but it was worth it.

P.S. as a reward at Target - I bought X-Men - Days of Future Past.

until the next time

Daryl Charley
The P90X athlete put Day 9 in the books =)

P90X - 2014 - Day 8

Greetings Readers

I saw this about two months and I heard about it about 6 months I am assuming.  I guess I am really interested in seeing this movie.  And really for all the wrong reason.  I think that you faithful Readers, and not the people who are in faith, know that I do like movies and I especially like movies that maybe Oscar contenders around this time of the year.

Foxcatcher.  This is my pick and I think Steve Carrell may just pull out an Oscar.  I know I know - very arrogant to say since I had not seen the movie, the movie is not out and I am just basing this on the trailers I have seen to date.  I will admit I like the way he looks and the way he talks.  Not necessarily the accent, but his facial looks when he is talking.  And what about Chantum Tatum.  I know I probably spelled his name wrong.  But his acting looks great and he looks perfect for the role he is playing.  I just found out the plot of the movie about three weeks ago, but only in general.  It's about wresting, Olympics and two brothers and a tycoon.  I think.  lol

I love the music in the trailer, the beat, the look, the mood and I am excited.

Steve being in a drama as opposed to a comedy.  I do not care for Steve, except when I saw him in the 40 year old virgin.  He just does not do it for me.  Dunno why.  However, with this new movie I think he will be known for more than just a comedian.

Ok Kenpo X was last night.  I sweated, but not as much as the previous days.  And I think that was due to me learning the Kenpo X moves once more.  It has been two years and honestly I never did the Kenpo outside my living room.  I did like the stretching and I can actually see me stretching further and better.  Anyway, the work out was about another hour and I did it without any problems.  As soon as I got home I stuck in the DVD and got going.  I did not want to wait any longer since that is an hour I have to set aside.  Anyway, Kenpo I will have to get back into rthym after a couple or few more times.  I struggled a bit more than I should have, but I still got my workout and I brought it. 

I had a beer last night as well - another Corona.  So, that has brought the beer count to 4 bottles.  On another note I am happy to say that I am 11 days Coca-Cola free.  To me that is amazing considering that I am not struggling or yearning to have a Coca-Cola.  I do have a 1 Liter of Coca-Cola in my cabinet at work (and you Readers may have noticed that red cap in the water picture I posted the other day).  It is there since I bought that September 26 and I did not have the heart to throw away or give away.  Again, there may be a slip, and just in case I need to have a taste, a drink, a couple swallows, or have to down that fucking Coca-Cola down!  LOL.  But again Readers, none of those reasons are coming up and I only see that red cap every time I open my cabinet at work.

Getting back to Kenpo X - the routines that I had trouble with coordination - Twist & Pivot with hook and uppercut, step drag/high-low punch, step drag/claw/low punch, front shuffle with high block/low punch and hook/uppercut/low side kick.  Readers, if you are a P90X participant and perhaps about to do or doing I am posting the routines that I am having issues with so you may compare and see if you are having the same issues as me.  Or I as you depending on the point of view.  And I am sure after a couple more times I will be able to do with no problem what so ever.  I do not have a heart rate monitor so I did not monitor myself. 

And that is about all I have to add at the moment.  Today is either a Rest day or X stretch.  I do not know at the moment what I am going to do, but I probably should do the X stretch since I did take a few days off.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The P90X athlete on Day 8

P90X - 2014 - Day 6

Greetings Readers

I did not have access to my P90X DVDs this weekend so I did take the weekend off as well as last night.  I also had three Corona's on Friday as well.  Though I still not have had a Coca-Cola.  So with that said I have been Coca-Cola free for 9 days.  And once more there is no real craving so to speak.  I see the Coca-Cola in the store as well as the convenience store, but there is no real desire to go and buy a Coca-Cola.  I am surprised on how well I am adjusting or not adjusting depending on your point of view by not not evening wanting to have a drink of Coca-Cola.  I remember the previous times, numerous times that I have not drank Coca-Cola or even quit for a week..  I am not going to say hell, but in those past instants it was tough and rough.  Why now has not drinking a Coca-Cola not being a struggle for me?  Who knows.  The other benefit is that I am saving 3.09 each day since that is what I was paying for my two cokes almost everyday.  That means I was spending 15.45 a week and in the morning alone on Coca-Cola to bring to work to drink.  This does not include the cost of the Coca-Cola at home.  The new cost is two Arrowhead waters that I have been buying instead for work.  And really do I need.  We have filtered water at work, but remember Readers I am getting to know Jennifer once more so there is a reason to stop by the convenience store in the morning.  So, at the moment I am estimated spending 10.00 per week.  Estimated since I really did not stop every day last week at the store to get my bottles of water. 

The water with Lemons is getting routine now.  This was my first weekend on the P90X program and I am not going to say it is or was going to be tough.  But not at work and you at home or not, there is more possibility of me breaking the no Coca-Cola streak.  I cut the lemons in half squeeze add ice then my Deep Rock Water.  Which by the way Readers, I mis informed you it is the 2.5 Gallons that I have in my fridge.  I bought another one on Sunday and then finished the one I bought last week yesterday.  I do not think that one a week was not bad.  Note - I have been using the water from my tap for the recovery and Whey drinks.  No need to use the "good" water on those drinks.  Those are okay as is since Deep Rock water is not going to make a difference at all.

I did weight myself Sunday and I came in at 145 / 144.  I did lose a lot of pounds in a week.  And I have been eating as well as following the meal plans as close a possible. 

Speaking of which.  I have made another change this time around.  There is a day by day meal plan that I used last time.  This time around I am using the meal plan again, but I am changing the schedule to fit on what I want to eat as well as to make sure that I am not letting stuff I buy at the store spoil or go bad since I am spending a lot of money on the program.  A lot meaning a lot more than I have been, except with the ex- when I was spending a lot as well.  I am not sure I blogged about this or not, but believe it or not I am actually eating cottage cheese. Who fucking knew.  I guess mentally I hated cottage cheese.  The look and substance.  yuck.  I guess it was like the last time when I started P90X program (and I did blog about it) when I tried Guacamole for the first time.   Cottage cheese is very good, I am buying a brand from King Soopers so I am buying that one brand and will stay with that for now since I actually really like.  Anyway, I surprised myself on actually liking Cottage Cheese.

I have no excuse for taking the three days off as well as having three Coronas.  It happened and now I got to get back onto scheduled.  At least I am not sick or not sore as I was, however you bet your ass I am going to be sore tonight.  You can count on it.

Also, on my "three day pass" I also played some minecraft as well.  I do not think I told you Readers, but I am playing on a server called DesiredCraft, which I found about two years ago.  Anyway, the server is huge and I so like.  I only at the moment play two of the games and those are survival and Skyblock.  The latter I have a VIP perk so that is kind of awesome to have since I get VIP benefits if you will.  Anyway, I have been beat and too tired to play last week when I got done with everything.  So, last night I logged on and did some Minecrafting.  I love minecraft and to me it more than just that.  I can build what I want and build amazing things.  To me this is my time.  I have many projects going and they have been and probably will still be there until the end of time.  I have goals, but when I get done with a milestone if you want to call that then I think of what I can do further.  Yes the builds are for me, but also to show off as well.  There are the players who are there and then there are players like me.  Perhaps.  That build to build something that is not like the rest.  As well as expensive.  To show off my wealth in the game.  Though the target audience are teens so I do keep that in mind since showing off to them is a lot easier than someone older.

I did have steak and arugula for the first time since being on P90X plan.  Oh man that steak was good.  Very good.  I also had Asparagus and wild rice as well when I finished the other half of the steak yesterday.  Oh I guess on my three day pass I kept to the meal plan.  No Fast Food.  I think that is something else I am surprised at.  I would like some fries, but in the overall grand scheme of things I am not craving anything specific at the moment.  I guess that is another good thing as well.  Anyway, so I still ate to the plan and not hard to since those two P90X books are with me all the time.

Going off topic - I was thinking.  I have a DVD collection, which I am sure that we have some sort of one.  Perhaps.  Anyway, I have some, a lot.  I was seeing the ex for almost two years and you know what the ex never ventured out more than a few movies the ex watched at my place - these are the only movies the ex watched at my place - When Harry met Sally, Shawshank Redemption, Thelma & Louise (though not very much) and that's it.  I blogged before the ex did not like the cussing and that was evident when I was watching Good Fellas, but the ex also commented on the fuckity and fuck fuck this when I was watching Gridlocked.  I did not notice this until just the weekend.  At the ex place - there is Frequency, Premonition, Fireproof (or something else, I can't remember) and that is all I can remember at the moment.  With that being said that should have been a red flag.  The ex really never explored my movie collection so to speak.  The ex bought me Big, but I gave that back.  Big.  Really?  A good movie, but the ex could have gotten something a whole lot better.  But didn't.  And that is the thing.  Why not.  Another red flag that I missed.  I could go in to the movies that the ex watched and I see a central common theme, but basically supports what I did not get at the time we were together.  And yet, with all that said there was no talk about what I watch and perhaps how it affected the ex.  Only the rude comments too much cussing, etc. 

Alright Readers I guess my time is up so I need to let you rest your eyes and I will get back to tomorrow (or later)

Until the next time

Daryl Charley

The P90X athlete on Day 6

Star Trek - Into Darkness

Greetings Readers

A long time.

A long time indeed. 

I was surfing the net on my break and saw this movie poster

I remember back in Junior High when the Enterprise went down.

"My God Bones - what I have done?"
                                             Captain Kirk

Now, I blogged back a while ago about the new Star Trek movie and was surprised.  Actually, I can not remember what I wrote so I may have to re-visit here in a bit.

However, Looking at the new commerical as well as the final movie trailer - it does not look good for the Starship Enterprise and her crew.  I saw this movie poster and this will have to be a must have when I get an opportunity to.  The commerical of the Enterprise is not pretty to look at - Special effects wise it is spectacular, but the effect seems to be same as it was in the 80's - sad to see her go down.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Star Wars - The Phantom Menace in 3-D

Greetings Readers

I really do not give a shit about 3-D movies. First and foremost – I am not interested in paying more money than the average non 3-D movie to see a movie in 3-D.

Granted, I did see Toy Story 1 and Toy Story 2 in 3-D and I will have to admit – it was amazing! I was impressed since this was my first 3-D movie in a couple of decades. No colored lens – the glasses were like real glasses – clear lens and plastic frames.

What I mean is that I grew up as child in the eighties when 3-D meant blue and red paper glasses and red/blue flimsy clear paper lens. If I remember correctly the movies that I remember seeing were Jaws 3-D, Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3-D, Treasure of the Four Crowns (or something close to that movie title), and… well, I know there is one more that I remember seeing. It was 3-D, but only for that time in history. Matter of fact – I have a couple of comics that are in 3-D also – meaning that you have to use those blue and red glasses.

Anyway, 3-D these days. There are a slew of them – I heard all, but a couple were good. Other films I heard, for example, Clash of the Titans 3-D, was simply awful 3-D. I would not know since I do not want to pay 15.00 dollars. Matter of fact, I have a problem paying 8.00 dollars or so for a regular movie. That is just me.

Hence, that is why I really do not post any more movie reviews on my blog on the ones that I go see in the movie theatres. So, I think I have been seeing about one movie a year. Then, about two years ago there was Tuesday super saver, but eventually that changed to $ 5.00 Sundays. Even with Sundays being cheap I have yet to go on a Sunday.

The main reason – Who in the fuck wants to see a re-make? Not me. For reals. I just don’t get it. Why make a remake? And believe me Readers there are a lot more than you think have been made. Oh, I better stick to the main topic. I may discuss/rant about this another time…

So, guess what – Star Wars I – The Phantom Menace has been re-done in 3-D and is scheduled for release next month. I am a Star Wars fan, but not of the prequels. Anyway, 3-D for that movie? I don’t know. Yes, George is going to clean up on revenue on this movie. Matter of fact, I can almost predict that movie theatres are going to up the price for this just because they can and the hard core people will pay to see.

Me? Most likely, but not sure. I will need to re-watch the movie to see what would be “3-D” worthy. Sure, the pod racing would be one scene that would be… in the words of my ex-co-worker - awesome in 3-D. I do not know about the light saber scenes – perhaps – but I cannot see it just wow-ing me over in 3-D.

Overall, if I go I am going to have to listen to Jar-Jar again, the lousy acting of Natalie Portman, the Gungan and Battle droids doing digital battle and other things which make the movie just too long to watch again. George, sorry Readers I am referring to George Lucas when using his first name, had a good idea but he overwhelms the audience with too much digital “stuff” in the movie.

The movie wasn’t all bad – I did like the light saber battle at the end where they are battling on the catwalks from a distance. And who doesn’t like “The Duel of the Fates."

P.S. I saw a trailer for Titanic coming soon in 3-D. Since I did not see Avatar in 3-D by James Cameron I may have to see this movie by James Cameron. Are 3-D movies made by the same company? I don't know. I know it will not be like Avatar since that was shot with 3-D cameras, but if the raves about Avatar's 3-D and perhaps the same company that did that 3-D may have did a good job doing Titanic in 3-D. Yes, I would see this in 3-D - yet I would have to hear "Jack!" and come to think about it this may be less worthy of being done in 3-D. Sure, some of the ship's angles and perhaps sinking, but other than that I can not see what else would be worthy of 3-D. hah hah.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

"Send a HELLO"

Greetings Readers

This past Spring at the Post Office I saw the release poster for all stamps... well perhaps commemorative stamps being released and I saw one stamp that I had to have.

It was the Pixar stamps and two of the stamps that are featured on the sheet caught my eye immediately.

Up and Wall-E. Toy Story followed next. The other two I could care less about.

Anyway -

Send a Hello

Think of your delight when you find a letter, greeting card, or package waiting in your mailbox. It puts a shine on the rest of the day - even before you've opened it. Despite all the ways that we communicate with friends and family today, there still nothing personal as knowing that someone took time to choose a card... write a letter... wrap a package... and even choose a special stamp simply to "Send a Hello."

After all, "hello" may be a simple, everyday word, but it can mean so many things. We can "Send a Hello" as a cheerful greetings between friends, like Lightning and Mater in Cars. "Hello" can mean "I'm hear to help!" like Remy to Linguini in Ratatouille. It can be a tender message of welcome to a new little someone who fills our hearts with wonder, like Wall-E and his miraculous plant in Wall-E.

Sometimes "hello" can tell someone we admire that they're our hero, like Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story, or the simple word can express the love and affection we feel for one another - like Dug and Carl in Up. For more than 25 years, Disney-Pixar storytellers have given us characters who have shown us the wonder of friendship and family. Now they help you communicate that way you care each time you receive or "Send a Hello." Has the mail come yet?

And that Readers is what's printed on the back of the stamp sheet.

To me - Dug, Karl and Wall-E meant/mean something to me due to their character in the movie they were in. Perhaps I will discuss that in a future post. Nothing earth shattering mind you, but something to share.

I do not think that I have shared with you Readers that I do collect stamps - that I like. Anyway, I do and perhaps I need to post some of the stamps that I have collected since the mid 90's.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Another friend from my Past

Greetings Readers

Another old friend from my past has surfaced into my life. And wouldn't you know it was during the same time I was working at TCI back in the 1990's.

I have not thought of her in about 5 to 10 years and I think it has been 15 years since I last talked to her.

So, how did this come about?

I was on Facebook on Saturday night and somehow her name just popped into my head. I did a name search and was hoping that I was going to be able to be able at least have a chance to find her among millions of people with that name.

Now, her name is common I think, but I had to be general so that was going to open the searching results even bigger than I wanted. Lo and behold, I got lucky and soon I was looking at a picture that would be a picture of the same woman I saw back in 1990's or so. I just had to imagine that person older and what she would look like in 2011. Not to mention that I do not remember where I have that old picture of her, her daughter and the family dog.

What also helped was that the person's picture I was looking at was the same State that I knew she was in when I last knew her. That helped alot. Minutes later I composed a short message on Facebook and clicked send (or whatever button that you click).

Fast forward to the morning, Sunday Morning that is, I see an email from her and it is confirmed it is her and she also remembered me.

We never met face to face, but we talked to each other almost every day that I worked at TCI and her where she did. We got to know each other as well as our family and our lives. Though at present I can not re-collect most of her life anymore. I guess that is the sign of being older. Hah hah. No Readers, mostly likely to not thinking of her in such a long time and losing the memories that I knew of due to new memories of people after her. Readers, there is only so much my mind can hold and remember.

There are times these days that I am walking from one room to another and in that time frame I get to that other room and I forgot what I was getting or going to do. The signs of getting older, I guess. Or perhaps I better hope so. =).

Fast forward a day's time - we exchanged information, phone numbers, email address as this blog site. I called her Sunday evening got voicemail left message and then she called back got voicemail and I got her message.

I have to admit it was the same voice, yes older, but the same voice I talked to day after day while I was at TCI back in the 1990's. As the "man with no name" said

"Well now...
....seems just like old times."

Her voice on my answering machine just made my day - hell, my week. Even my Month.

Anyway, I hope to catch up and at least see what's been going on. And I, of course, will tell her every time that I happen to see that movie "Trapped in Paradise" I remember her dog since her dog had only three legs. Funny how you associated something to someone.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

The Apology Letter (and last) to D

Greetings Readers

As I mentioned just recently in order to move forward you have to put the past behind you.

I have and thought to myself I might as well complete this statement by writing a blog post that will mean nothing to any of you faithful Readers, but only to that one person. I do not have a clue if she does read my blog, but there may be a chance that she does. Does that matter? I guess you faithful Readers may never know that answer to that question.

Hi D

This is not the first time that I was wrong and this will not be the last time that I will be wrong. I also do not like to give an apology for something that I did not do wrong initially.

I acted the way the way I did since the initial act was instigated by you. I felt that if you treated me the way that you did I could do almost the same thing, but in a different manner to you. It does take two to Tango and I know I have things I did to you that you could mention.

I gave you the silent treatment. Yes, silence is a powerful thing to do someone close. All I wanted was for you to ask me why I was giving you the silence treatment. I would have given you the reason why – no bullshit.

Like the reason I was mad at you for not keeping a couple of lunch meetings early in our friendship. Yes, something small and I understand that we all have emergencies and what not, but that was/is something I do not tolerate if the same thing happens over and over. Call it a pet peeve or not, but I do not like to be cancelled and cancelled upon over and over again.

I was mad for a time and then I came to you and explained why I was mad at you. If the other person was wrong I wait for them to come to me, but in the case with you I came to you and explained why I was the way I was. We mended the relationship, but with my character I can not forget that this event ever happened.

Well, this past year, you approached me in a manner that I was taken aback by surprise. I understand you got the degree and have that over me as education and status placement, but my placement in life is what I have chosen. Though, the one thing that I am not is an AA or an EA. I do not fetch coffee, I do not keep up calendars, and other things EA’s or AA’s are known to do for the person(s) they are hired to assist. You had a pissed off look and addressed me in a pissed off manner and I did not especially care for that.

Then, as the weeks past by and you noticed something different you used a mutual friend to try and talk to me through our mutual friend. That further drove the nail in the wrong direction. If there is an issue – talk to me directly, pull me aside, just do not involve any of our mutual friends into our differences. I am honest with you and can take most things that are said or thrown at me.

Sure, I would have apologized for my above actions in a heartbeat, but you never came to me at all. I could have went first to you, but after the first incident in our relationship I could not make the first move again. No matter what, in my opinion.

I enjoyed knowing you. As you know I made the effort to get to know you. And so as I learned of your martial status I did not let that deter me. And at that time I knew that I could not pursue you as a romantic interest – even though you are the woman I do desire – the hair color, the body, the voice and the demeanor.

I did flirt from time to time, but I hope never flirted any more than I should of. I never suggested let’s go for a drink, I did not inquire about your personal life. Though when I saw that one tattoo – it was an immediate turn on. But again, I kept the friend relationship to a minimum, even by not talking to you every day, which I could have done, but elected not to.

So, that is what caused my friendship with you to be cut off so suddenly. Now, I do and did apologize and I did call your phone number for the first and only time since you gave to me a couple of years ago and I left you a voicemail. I could have hung up, but I did not. I kind of remember leaving a voice message, but I do not actually remember what I said on the voicemail. Sorry. I was nervous, but my message was unrehearsed and my thinking on what to actually say was the tough part.

I could have said so much, but not knowing how you felt about me, what had happened and what you did not know – again I did not want to say something that could be perceived as something it should not. And I will admit that I may be thinking something else, but that is neither here or there. And as Prince sang “…it’s such a shame our friendship had to end…”

I do wish the best for you and I do hope that you give me a call, or send me an email to say something / anything from – a fuck you or you accepting my apology and tell me I am still an ass for acting the way I did to you. If not, I also understand your reasoning why not. I truly do.

What also bothered me, though not from you was that other people suggested that perhaps I was the one that made you question yourself. Or I was the cause for your troubles with giving you a bottle of wine. You giving me a couple / few rides home. I hope that was not the case. Again, I never asked about you and your hubby’s personal current relationship. I do not know if perhaps there is a therapist that you may be seeing for whatever reason(s). I do not know about your life except those moments you did share with me, which in my mind were not on a personal / taboo basis at all. Anyway, once those “seeds” were planted I could not help think I may have had something to do with your personal life. I hope not, but somehow I feel I did, but only by people even saying I may have a part. Consciously, I know I did not, but perhaps subconsciously I did do something that I am not aware of. If I did, I am very, very sorry. I am past that part of my life where I did have extra-martial affairs, but as we age so does comes wisdom and more thinking to the consequences of the act of an affair. Granted, I do have a lot of gorgeous married women friends and I do tend to flirt from time to time, but I think I know when I have / am crossed the line of going to far with a married woman. With your physical condition the last time I saw you – you were thinner than ever. I was worried, but also brought flashbacks to a woman I loved who is no longer in my life. Yet, that is another story, which I talked very little about, but affected and changed my life from that point on in my life.

You referred to yourself as a princess, I disagree. You are more than that – a desirable Queen. Though again that is something I never voiced to you - or could. And I could never call you a princess since I had a friend who referred to herself as a princess and she was that (but a whole more, but not princess like.) One princess in my life is plenty and I could not make two princesses in my life. If I were to be blunt you would be my “cougar.” Oh baby.

The only way to go any further is in my fantasies, but that is something that I will not share. We all have fantasies and I am not going to share about who I may be having fantasies about. (Not going to talk about that with you my faithful Readers… well you could buy me a couple of drinks and perhaps I might just slip about that subject.)

By the way, I know it has been two years, and like an elephant I really never forget things. Do you remember when I made Lasagna and I gave you a small Tupperware dish with a piece of Lasagna? I never asked for the dish back nor did I ask what you thought about my cooking. I am not worried about the Tupperware not being returned to me – at all. After all, my faithful Readers know how I personally feel about Tupperware.

If you need a reason, one reason, to contact me and are reading this blog, then that there is a reason (or additional reason) why you could contact me. Tell me how you liked/disliked my cooking. We may laugh. We may have uncomfortable conversation. Or we may say sorry to each other and see what happens. I do not know.

But again – As I was sitting with my family after Christmas in the living room – “in order to move forward mama always said you had to put the past behind you.”

I did see you walk out of my life before you were gone – walking to your vehicle. Corny as that statement reads but that is the last time I saw you. Sounds like a cowboy song. Or could just be life.

Take care and I hope the best for you in your life.

Yours Truly

Daryl

Readers, that is that. Readers, it took Forrest Gump to make me realize that I had to do the same thing. I have made my peace with myself and now look forward to a new year and a new age bracket to compete in. Hah hah. By the way, it does sound like I lost a love, but it is not. Just someone I cared about more than most of my friends - nothing wrong with that.

“and that is all that I have to say about that.”

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

First Post of 2011

Greetings Readers

In order to move forward you have to put the past behind you.

I know this, but this is sometimes very difficult for me to actually to do from time to time. Yet, if it is difficult for me why did Forrest Gump never give it a second thought about putting the past behind him?

I just do not know.

Anyway Readers, I have taken some time off from work and my regular life for about 2 weeks. I said, or say, I think I needed it, but to be honest with myself I really did need the time away from my everyday life. With that said I headed off to the Ranch and sent some time with the family.

Very enjoyable and it took a few days get out of my everyday routine. Granted, I was sleeping on a mattress, in the farthest room from the pellet stove, but I was okay with that. I did bring my laptop and new portable dvd player so I had something to keep me busy/entertained.

With all that said I was able not to think about the things that have happened to me in the past month and started to question myself. And question others. Not second guess myself or others, but to think too much about something that should not be thought about that much in the first place.

I slept, cooked, worked a bit here and there, chopped ice for the animals, rode the four wheeler to name a few things that I did on my vacation. I also watched / listened to a few movies as well as played some Diablo II on my laptop. I realize that is an old computer game, but I was looking for some game that I wanted to load that was not too heavy on the RAM or the hard drive space on the laptop. Also, I borrowed a sub woofer from my brother so I wanted to hear a game an all new way. And let me tell you Readers there is a big fucking difference in the sound. Wow.

See. I was able to put the past behind me once more, but there are just a couple things that I will remember though, but know that I am able not to think about day after day, week after week.

In the next couple of weeks I will perhaps touch on some of the things that I did on my vacation. Like I swear that I saw the splitting image of Uncle Junior at Furr’s Buffet in Albuquerque, NM.!The icy cold weather that kept us in for a few days since it was too too cold to work outside on the Ranch. The three dogs that were shot since they went onto our Ranch property and killed one of Ranch Animals, my “Christmas Present”, my winnings at the toy crane game at the local supermarket – Smith’s, another award (as well as thank you letters) from the 4-H club to my parents for their yearly contribution, the blind calf’s progress, and how I spent my New Year’s Eve (not exciting though).

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

"Come Back..."

Greetings Readers

Am I going to follow a path down to depression with the certain events that have happened in the past month? Depression is too strong of a word to use, perhaps a sadness I have not felt in years.

I hope not. I do hope not.

I was watching the movie Inception again and I think everything in my life just bombarded me and then the scene at the end of the movie when Cobb goes looking for Saito was playing at that moment.

He is eating a bowl of food, remembering, looking, helping and old looking Saito to remember.

The music sets the tone of the scene.

"Come back..."

Then, the scene switches to the 747 first class cabin. Cobb blinks and looks up and around. Then, camera view pans from left to right starting with Arthur. The music is low and so melodic and fitting after what has happened to that point in the movie. Arthur looks at Cobb, looks down, then looks up at Cobb with a smile. The smile says it all - we did it Cobb. You came back, my friend. The camera continues to pan right and then we see Ariadne slumped low in her first class cabin sleep and looking at Cobb directly. The look of confidence.

Lastly, Cobb's view continues to pan right and stops on Saito. Saito is also slumped in his first class cabin seat. He looks at Cobb, seeing him again but not as an old man, but young again. He then reaches for the phone and makes the call.

The scene is nothing to write about, except for me, perhaps. The scene showing the happiness and all of them making it back from the dream levels, as well as Limbo.

I think it is safe to say if you have not seen a friend in a while you can not help not to smile, acknowledge them and just know you have their friendship.

Cobb walking in the airport terminal seeing his team that went down into Inception with him. It was a glance a times when he saw his one of his team members, but then there was the quick glimpse for a second for other team members before walking on.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Inception - DVD and Blue Ray release

Greetings Readers

I picked up a few copies of the movie Inception on Tuesday. One for me and the others as gifts.

I know this movie is not worthy of Picture of the Year, by a long shot. Yet, this was far the best movie I have seen this year.

I did see the movie on it's Thursday's midnight showing down at the old/new Southglenn mall area this past summer.

I found the movie interesting. And I have to admit that when the local movie theater up the street went to $ 5.00 dollar a movie every Tuesday I made several trips to see that movie for $ 5.00 dollars.

So, when the release date for the DVD / Blue Ray copy was announced this was a no brainer to buy for my collection.

Me and a friend went to Best Buy and we both got the exclusive limited edition to Best Buy Blue Ray combo pack. With the movie came the movie script as well as some notes and conceptual artwork.

The Blue Ray is packed with stuff, but I only listened to the movie soundtrack and the watched the three trailers that were made for the movie so far. There is still a whole alot of stuff I have yet to watch.

I am interested, but I want to enjoy the movie on how I have interpeted the movie, as well as the ending of the movie, to date.

I do not think there is any Oscar award nomination acting in the movie so if you are looking for that - it is not present.

I think I have said this before, but the reason why I like the movie is the concept of dreaming and the relationship to the real world. Like the tub of water and the water filling Cobb's dream.

I know from personal instances that first ray of sunlight lighting up my room has had an effect in my dream and eventually wake up remembering why I woke up coming from a dream that I just dreamt.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Places in the Heart

Greetings Readers

Places in the Heart

It took me 26 years, I think, to finally see this movie.

I guess one could say this was on my bucket list of movies that needed to be seen by me.

From my point of view the only thing I knew about the movie was the movie poster – as shown on my blog.

I did not have a clue what the movie was about. Nor did I know who even played the movie. And yes Readers, I did not even care to know.

Yet, after seeing this movie I was impressed. John Malkovich, Danny Glover, Ed Harris, Lindsay Crouse, and a couple of actors/ actresses that I can not remember their names as I write this post.

Long story short – the movie is about Sally Field’s life after she becomes a widow in the 1930’s. or was it 1920’s. There are also Borders, cotton and a tornado in the movie.

I admit that the reason why I have not seen this movie is that from the movie poster the movie does not look like my type of movie. Anyway, here it is - the year 2010 and the movie is available on TV and there was really nothing else to watch the time I saw the movie.

I was finishing up dinner when I started watching the movie, but soon found myself on the couch, eating my dinner and watching the movie with great interest.

Well, there is a certain part in the movie that I saw what I felt back at the 24 hours of Boulder in October.

When I saw Sally Fields on her hand and knees after working through the night and the dawn of the day arriving doing what needed to be done and saw her will… or perhaps her agony in the last moments she had left… I could not help to get a bit teary eyed. I know it was a movie, but wow I did my same thing where I was doing what needed to be done in October as I saw the sun rise over the horizon on October 17. I was not on my hands and knees crawling, but I was limping, trying to walk to complete that 8th lap. That was what I needed to be done, whereas Sally Fields had to get every bit of cotton. I was teary eyed for what I did, and not for Sally Field’s character, on October 16 & 17 for 24 hours before the last moments I had left.

It is amazing what we humans will do when something needs to be done. Not something under life threatening conditions, but something that needs to be done.

And what something was - "Desire"

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Happy Halloween 2009

Greetings Readers

Once again we Readers are at that time of the year that is looked forward to by so many children. I know that we all have sometime in our past. And perhaps some of us are now taking children out on this Halloween for the first time

Halloween

This is another time to stick up for the “little people.”

Literally.

What I mean is that I usually buy the full size candy and give them out to the trick of treaters in my part of the neighborhood. I do not know how I got into this ritual, but somehow I did and never have strayed from this Halloween tradition.

As traditions go – the other tradition is watch Halloween 3: Season of the Witches. Again, this is something that I do every year. This year will be no different.

For this year, I decided to get King Size Reese Peanut Butter Cup Candy. The price was 10 for 10.00, which was a perfect price for me to spend. To me a dollar a candy bar was worth my money. Not only am I saving money, making up for my sins; I will be making some very happy little children later this evening...

until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Toy Story 1 and 2 in 3-D

Greetings Readers

I am not a fan of Tim Allen. I did not watch his show when it was on TV – what was it called… the Home Improvement Show, I think.

Anyway, I had no desire to see Toy Story when it first came out. And I didn’t.

Then, Toy Story 2 came out, by then I think those movies with that type of animation was getting respect as much more than a kid’s movie. Before seeing Toy Story 2 in the movie theatre I did see Toy Story on DVD. And I have to admit to you Readers, I was so wrong not to see the movie just because of Tim Allen being one of the main voices in the movie.

Thinking back I actually think that Toy Story 2 was the first Pixar movie I saw in the movie theatre. Matter of fact Readers, I was impressed by the visuals as well as the story of the movie. However, what caught me off guard was the adult content that was “hidden” in the movie. Even though the movie is geared for kids is it also very entertaining for the adults.

I found myself laughing along with the other adults when the kids were not laughing at the movie. We shared something in common and that made the movie so much more pleasurable.

Here we are Readers – 2009 and now Pixar has re-released Toy Story and Toy Story 2 for a limited engagement of 2 weeks. There was no question – I was going to see the movie period. What was different for this re-release was that you get to see both movies for the price of one ticket. However, that one ticket was going to cost money extra since the movie was in 3-D.

Yes, I have the DVDs in my collection, but I wanted to see the movie in the movie theatre. Although, not because of the 3-D.

Before actually seeing this movie I have never been to a 3-D movie since the late eighties. Back then you wore those paper 3-D glasses that have one red lens and then one blue lens in the cardboard frame glasses. That was the 3-D I knew of. Matter of fact that was still my thinking until I actually got my first pair of 3-D glasses with my movie ticket.

The 3-D glasses were actual glasses. A plastic frame that sort of look like the Ray-bans of the eighties. However, the lens looked like just any ordinary lens. Clear. No red and blue colors – just a clear lens.

I bought a big tub of popcorn since I was going to be in the theatre for over 3 hours.

I went into the 7 PM showing on a Monday night. There was Monday night wrestling, there was Monday night football and then there was the decisive post game series of the Rockies playing the Philly’s and needing a win to stay in the series otherwise their season is over. So, I was hoping almost all of Denver were at home watching one of those three events.

With all that going on I was the only person in the movie theatre watching the Toy Story movies. I thought that was pretty cool. I had the big screen all to myself as the way it should be.

Soon, the previews started and I put on the glasses. I did not have a clue when I was suppose to put them on. I watched the preview and tried to see if the trailers were in 3-D. It looked 3-D, but I could not tell if the glasses were working or not.

Then, the big screen showed that now was the time to put on the 3-D glasses.

The first movie trailer in 3-D started paying. Holy fucking shit – that was fucking amazing! The movie trailer was “A Christmas Scrooge” or something like that and was an animation movie coming out at Christmas in 3-D starring the voice of Jim Carrey.

One snowflake that was in 3-D was floating in and out of the movie screen and was literally floating in 3-D right in front of me. That whole trailer was amazing to see in 3-D. It is amazing how technology has changed since the last 3-D movie, which technically had nothing like the impact I was witnessing in that movie theatre.

Objects, people had true 3-D depth. There was even the sense of riding an icicle in 3-D at high speed. My mind actually believed the rush of speed.

Soon, the first movie started.

Then, a ten-minute intermission after the first movie was over.

And then the second movie started and was over about 90 minutes later.

I was fucking awed by the 3-D experience. I laughed, smiled and really enjoyed myself watching both of those movies once more. I have seen the Toy Stories over and over, but I pretended I was seeing this for the first time. I did enjoy hearing the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, John Ratzenburger, Don Rickles, Kelsey Grammer, Estelle Harris and Wayne Knight.

I also liked the voice of Randy and Sarah singing again.

I absolutely enjoyed the 3-D. There was depth. There was such detail in the 3-D that I was looking all over the movie screen to see all the effects of 3-D in the movie. What was even more impressive was that even though the movie gave 3-D to objects and characters – they were even able to make the light from a flashlight in the movie 3-D. They made smoke in 3-D. Even the sun’s rays they could occasionally be made in 3-D.

You probably have these two movies in your collection and thought to yourself why should I go and see these two Toy Story movies in the movie theatre. True. But Readers, I think you will be pleasantly surprised and will soon find that the 3-hour plus in the movie theatre will go by quickly. I was worried about fidgeting in my seat since I know both movies by heart, but I think I did not because I was caught up in the 3-D experience.

The movies (double feature) was worth the $ 12.00 dollars I paid and I am glad that I was one of the few to actually catch the limited engagement of Toy Story and Toy Story 2 in the movie theatres.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

My First Compact Disc (CD)

Greetings Readers

There was a conversation that a group of my friends were having the other day that was kind of interesting to think about.

I am pretty old now and when I was younger CDs (Compact Discs) came out while I was in High School (or perhaps in Junior High; I am not quite sure.)

CD’s were going to be the new thing in the music world. Clear and digital is what I think I can remember what was said back then. There were positives things being said, but me being me I am a pessimist. I thought about how easy one scratch could ruin a 15.00 to 25.00 dollar CD. I think CD’s were starting out at 15 dollars or higher back in the day, but then again to a teenager everything was expensive. And a dirty finger/palm print could also ruin a CD just like that.

Anyway, I was happy with my Cassette tapes Readers. Matter of fact, when I went to college with my portable stereo I brought along some blank tapes and needless to say that I recorded on all 20 cassette tapes within two weeks from other people who brought along there music from home.

Getting back to the story, well one night me and my best friend back in the day decided we were going to Aurora, specifically Buckingham Mall (or was that Square.) to go see a movie we wanted to see that just opened. A movie about vampires.

We knew that from previous outings in order to see a movie with crowd interaction; meaning more than general laughs, sobs, or jumping in your seat because you got scared you had to go to an area of town that drew in a lot of African-American people. I am trying to correct, but I guess let me say it flat out – you had to be in area of town where blacks are predominately in.

There were only a few places back then and any time we had to see a movie that we wanted to see a movie with a good crowd we headed to Buckingham Square or Aurora Mall to see a movie.

Those black people made the movie, as well as me and my friends experience, well worth than see a movie we wanted to see. Both man and woman will be talking and yelling out at the movie screen to the character(s) in a certain scene or just in general. Back in the day, white people did not do that. I know that some white people these days do that every know and then, but that is oh so not comparable to what me and my best friend experienced back in the day.

Matter of fact Readers, now I that I am much older I get agitated when I hear the cell phones, the candy wrappers, the whispering, and kids that do not long belong in a rated R movie. Boy, times have changed for me. Of course, if I was a premiere or a midnight screening then I do not mind at all since that sort of behavior is expected as well tolerated. Not to mention the beach balls that are being tossed around the movie theatre.

And once more I digress. So, after the vampire movie we saw I was pretty impressed by the movie’s music as well as the movie itself. I loved it. And present day, I have the original movie poster, not a reprint that you perhaps could have picked up at Target/Wal-Mart. Although, this movie poster was probably not marketable due to the portrait on the movie poster (posted on today's blog). I had to go to a movie poster store that was either in downtown Denver or I went to Cinderella City and bought my movie poster in the downstairs portion of the mall back in the day. Matter of fact Readers, the movie posters that I do own now were bought at Cinderella City or Downtown Denver. Back in the day when I was a teenager movie posters averaged about 20 dollars for an expensive movie poster; now that is just the starting price of just a mediocre movie poster. And I have the DVD as well as the VHS tape. However, the item, which is the subject of this post, is the movie soundtrack. On CD.

Near Dark. That was the first CD I bought. To me, buying your first Compact Disc is like the first person you ever had sex with – you never forget your first and how she had her first and second earth shattering orgasms one after another that literally soaked us and the … oh Readers too much information and way off topic.

Back in the day CD’s came in a long cardboard box that was 12 inches high, 4 or 5 inches wide and about ¼ of an inch deep. As you Readers know now, CD’s are just wrapped in the jeweled cases in plastic and have that annoying white tape (with the name of the album printed on the tape) and is a bitch to take off. Right Readers?! Not to mention the plastic wrapping itself. Back in the day all you had to do was open the cardboard box and shake out the CD and you are ready to play that CD.

Well, perhaps a week after the movie came out I saw that movie soundtrack in the store. I immediately knew that I had to have that CD, regardless of price. Even though I did not have a CD player I was going to buy that CD. I did by the Near Dark CD and I displayed that CD on my waterbed for about 6 months or so until I was finally able to purchase a CD player on my own.

To this day, I have that CD (but I have replaced the original CD jeweled case with a new one due to the years of getting scratched up) in my CD collections as well as in my ipods.

Almost the entire CD is great. Only one song on the CD just does not fit on the soundtrack so I just skip over that song in order to listen to the rest of the CD.

And that is story of my Compact Disc I ever, ever bought.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

Forbidden Lust

Greetings Readers

I have one particular friend. A married friend that I am particularly attracted to. Granted, I have many married friends and a few them are beautiful women, but this one woman somehow stands out from the rest to me.

She has a petite frame, shorter than me, blonde and oh so my type of woman I desire; that I lust after when looking for a woman.

She came into my life about a year ago. When I first met her I was really attracted to her at first sight. Well, I am still attracted to her.

Matter of fact Readers, I made myself really to get to know her.

It did not take very long for me to get to know her as more than just as a friend.

Throughout the past year I have flirted with her and I know she has flirted back with me. Flirting is flirting, but in my view I think I have only been safely flirting. I do not think there is such as a thing as harmless flirting since flirting is showing interest in the other person. In addition to the flirting I have come to know her, her life, my life, some things we like, where we grew up, life in general and about our parents as well.

Readers, here is the dangerous part. I know from past experiences that I should not get involved in another affair with a married woman. I am now ten years older and know better than to get involved with a married woman.

Yet, deep down inside me I want her. There is really no other way to say that except to be crude and say I want to have sex with her.

However, deep inside me I do not want to perhaps ruin a marriage with her husband. I do not know if he was the first man she was with, but I have a feeling that her husband was and is the only man she has been with in her life.

In this point (age) of ours lives we just want sexual release and that’s that. There is no danger of falling in love from having sex for the first time. If I was in my twenties I might have lied about saying that I loved her in order to get sex, but now I have no problem saying that I want sex and that’s all.

Shallow, but true. I want her so bad that I have not called up my FWB for quite some time. Yes, there would be some sexual release, but to me that is not going to help my issue. I want her, and oh so bad, but I also have to be reasonable about the situation.

Matter of fact Readers, I scared myself with her that I had to cut off myself completely from her. It actually worked – she had some personal things going on in her life and I had a pretty hectic schedule that we did not have time to see / talk to each other for a while. Yet, recently I have opened the communications with her and now I am talking with her on a weekly basis once more with her and also sort of joking / flirting with her again.

She knows about my FWB and I think she is a bit jealous about her. She almost always asks about her, but I really do not give her any info. No, I am not embarrassed about my FWB. Yet, I do feel a bit uncomfortable since she most likely is trying to find out the last time I might have had sex. I should care less what she is thinking, but I do.

We are both in our late thirties and both have flirted and showed some body language that tells each other we are interested in each other. I have sort of left the flirting up to her. I cannot be the instigator of an affair if that is what she may be looking for. Readers, I am not saying that I may be the first person she has considered to have an affair with, but I know that I “perked” her interest in me.

Readers, I want her to make that decision. I am not hoping for that to happen, but I am not hoping that not to happen. Her looks, her attitude and the way we have bonded makes me want her, but in this situation I am not going to make the first move. Should she make the first move then most likely I will respond accordingly – meaning I will show my attraction to her.

I am ten years older than my last affair I had with a married woman. I have no desire to destroy / ruin a marriage and Readers I did not do that on the last affair I had. I was the guy that she picked after she found out that her husband was cheating on her. We both enjoyed the affair when it happened, but as of today we have since parted ways and never have talked to each other since. Back to the present woman I find myself attracted to, if I am able to help my friend through her marriage, sexually, then I am for it.

It is so wrong, but I do think that I would not be able to stop myself from having am affair with her should she show up at my humble abode wearing a trench coat with nothing on underneath the trench coat. Or if she was wearing something sexy I am sure that I would not be able to hold myself back from taking her right there.

This is a post that I did not want to tell you, yet I feel that should tell you Readers. This blog is about her, but this blog is a way for me to not hold things inside me. Meaning, when I blog about certain subjects I feel a certain weight lifted of my chest. I would say it is therapeutic and actually has helped me since I started blogging.

Early when we first met I did tell her about my blog, but I know that she has not followed my blog since the first time I mentioned it to her. Matter of fact, I make it no secret to everyone that I blog. I can blog about things I would not normally talk about or I can just blog about my certain day and perhaps piss you Readers off about I have acted or reacted to a certain person or thing in my life. I do like to write and talk about my life, but sometimes I do get tired of telling the same “what did you do this weekend” over and over again to my friends come Monday. Now, if any of my friends do not want to see me, or are unable to see me or I could not make any time for them all they have to do is go to my blog and perhaps read what I did do over the weekend. Then again Readers, I am not sure if I even do that – it is usually about an isolated subject or event in my life that I blog about. Right now, the only thing I cannot write about is my work. During this age blogging about your work can get you in trouble since I have seen articles about employees getting terminated over their blogs about work.

This blog is me telling you Readers of what is going on in my life and in no way is this some sort of confession of my desire to my friend by the use of this blog.

After all, this blog could be about any of the women I know.

Readers, I know that this is wrong and also listed as one of the ten commandments and should I let myself get involved with an another married woman I have truly crossed the line of right and wrong.

Now, with all that you have read just now – could I perhaps misinterpreting this sort of relationship as the sort of relationship in that movie “Lost in Translation.” Two people bonding under circumstances and form a close relationship from that. And that is all there is going to be – yet as almost the last scene when Bill Murray whispers in her ear we will never know.

I just do not know.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

My New Neighbor - Jenny

Greetings Readers

About 1/2 a month ago I met my new next door neighbor. I saw the moving boxes, couches, plants, bed, etc.

I noticed my new neighbor since she was the only one I was seeing, besides the moving guys that were bringing in her stuff into her "humble" abode. Well, let me rephrase that I was not seeing any guy over and over that could be her boyfriend and or husband. Not that I am looking for a new neighbor to be my new woman in my life, but I have to admit she does look like someone I could know than just a neighbor. I know, I know, I am being superficial, but alas I admit my weakness regarding the opposite sex.

Anyway, we finally came face to face in June (right before the Ride the Rockies) and I took the initiative and introduced myself to her.

After the pleasantries were done that was that. Here name is... "Jenny." Of course, I could not help to think "Jenny" from Forrest Gump, "She is my special friend" I smiled and then left to be.

Not that it matters, I hope, I was dressed to the nines in my biking gear so I hope she was/was not judging on first dress impressions (depending on your point of view). Otherwise, I would have loved to meet her in my work clothes or a nice casual outfit as a first impression.

She looked casual since she was moving in at that time. I can not remember actually seeing her eyes or not, but I do remember her petite size, figure, hair and hand when we shook.

Fast forward to the present, I was feeling pretty good one evening when I came home. I had come from the liquor store and had a six pack of Fat Tire. Well, the past week it has been raining and raining. So when I going home I spotted a pair of Tennis shoes drying outside her humble abode. I thought to myself - what the hell - what do I have to lose. I decided right there and then to go home, get a post it note and write "Happy Fourth from your next door neighbor - Daryl" or something close to that effect. Again, I am not sure what I exactly wrote since I was a little nervous about doing what I was doing and whether or not I should be. Yet, I felt I needed to try and new that nothing ventured nothing gained. Also, I was drinking before coming home - so I bet that had a part of me doing what I was doing.

I did not think she was home and I was really not wanting to knock on her door and find out. So, I did the next best thing in my mind. I taped the post it note on one bottle of beer and the went over to her humble abode and put that bottle of Fat Tire in one of her Tennis (running) shoes and leave.

I could not believe I did that. After all, I have not talked to Jenny for about 1/2 month nor have I seen her for about the same amount of time. If I get a response - great. If not - then so be it. And Sam(my) - There is not and will not be any stalking - so there.

That it Readers, nothing else to add.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete

May Day - Star Trek Day

Greetings Readers

The new Star Trek movie.

Blasphemy.

NOTE: I talk about the movie on this post so this is a spoiler alert!! I am going to talk about the movie and certain parts of the movie and in case you do not want to know please do not read any further.

I was against this new movie when I first heard someone (a certain director) was going to make an early Star Trek movie based upon the Starfleet academy days of Kirk. After all, in my mind there is no way that someone could make a prequel Star Trek movie and make it work. Look at the Star Wars Prequels – Great, but just not right.

A year ago I saw some of the cast’s name and I have to admit I did not know about 7/8’s of the characters. Though I saw the actor from “Harold and Kumar …” who was pegged to play Sulu and then I saw the actor who was pegged to play Scotty. That actor played the lead road in the movie “Shaun of the Dead.”

Perhaps you may know of these two actors who were chosen from comedy movies they have made. I saw this and assumed how these two actors could represent the new Star Trek movie seriously. How?

As the release date got pushed back from 2008 Christmas to this 2009 Spring I was worried about the movie. Any time a movie gets “bumped” to a later date you start to wonder if the movie’s editing was not good – at all. Or if the movie just sucks.

Well, I was bias and it showed. After all Readers – there is no Star Trek movie better than Star Trek II - the Wrath of Khan.

Needless to say, I was actually hearing good things about the new Star Trek movie. The “young” characters actually were “in line” with the old series characters on the original Star Trek TV show.

That being said, I had to see the new movie, which at this point of time the movie has been out for a month. I admit Readers; I saw the trailer and was a bit turned off on what I saw.

But it was the words of my current boss that changed my mind.

Little did I know I was wrong on my initial opinion, but the new movie is still blasphemy as I write this blog post.

I have to admit I got drawn into the movie in about 10 minutes or so. I believed in the character of Kirk and then what sealed the deal was “Bones.” I could actually see this younger “Bones” being the “Bones” I knew of. Dr. Leonard McCoy. That actor got Dr. McCoy down to a T and I am impressed.

He did look like a younger “Bones” and had the same attitude of “Bones” would have had.

In the first 15 to 30 minutes of the movie I was sitting with my back against the movie chair set. Little did I know that I would be sitting at the edge of my seat for the next hour and a half.

The Young Spock and the rest of the Enterprise Crew were the crew we “Old School” viewers knew of.

Now, the movie was far from perfect. I did not like the idea of Spock ejecting Kirk from the Enterprise. I did not like the idea of Old Spock seeing young Spock. I did not like seeing Wyonna Ryder as Spock’s mother, but I have to say it really worked. I did not like the “new” timeline of this new Star Trek movie, but I understand that this was the really only way that this new movie could work.

I did enjoy the movie and I especially liked the part when the Enterprise, supposedly in control of Sulu emerges from the clouds of Saturn. Fucking awesome to see the Enterprise rise from the clouds of Saturn. I also liked seeing that Spock was the creator of the infamous no win scenario, even though thinking about that scene it was not true, since Spock sacrificed himself for the no win scenario.

I know, I know “the needs of the many outweigh the few, or the one.”

I also had a hard time in accepting the young Scotty. To me the acting was over the top, again - in my opinion. He acted like Scotty, as if he was drunk, but there was no sign(s) of any bottles or glasses that would assume alcohol.

I did have a hard time accepting Spock ejecting Kirk from the Enterprise. The Spock I know of would not have done that – even being half human. Spock was a stickler to the rules until Star Trek II, when he “exaggerated.” Spock did not lie, he “exaggerated” and that was due to him knowing Kirk. Otherwise, there was no leeway

I hated to see Spock’s mother died, I hated seeing Planet Vulcan destroyed, I did not like the Kobayshi Maru simulation and I disliked the idea of the this new Star Trek movie from the pre-production. Yet, after seeing this new movie of Star Trek I was able to accept was told from the director’s point of view.

However, I do hope to see a future Star Trek movie, but in my mind it will be a parallel universe. Right or wrong – it is wrong to me and that makes all other Star Trek lore false.

J.J Abrams got the young Star Trek cast to match the old cast characters persona and even incorporate the old sounds of the original Star Trek series. For that I am ever so grateful.

In closing, I really want a movie poster of the Enterprise that is shown on this blog. I know what that scene means to me and that is the Enterprise under the command of Kirk escaping from a certain death in the movie.

The Enterprise and her original crew are what make Star Trek what it is.

Until the next time

Daryl Charley
The Fallen Athlete